Yesterday we talked about “sexual fetishes” and asked the question; should a Christian have or participate in fetishes? Today, we extend and broaden the topic to ask; “if Christians should have sexual fantasies?” Does the Bible have anything to say about our deepest sexual desires?
A fantasy is an act or event created in the imagination. A sexual fantasy creates a sexual act or event in the imagination. Depending upon the nature of the fantasy and the imagined players in it, a sexual fantasy can be a sin. Any imagined scenario that is inappropriate for moral, ethical, or spiritual reasons is sinful.
Imagination is a gift from God, and fantasy is part of the human psyche. We fantasize often without even realizing it. Proverbs 23:7 says that whatever we think in our hearts, that is who we are. Many would argue, “But I’m not actually doing anything wrong.” However, the Bible speaks a lot about our thoughts and is clear that even our fantasies are to be brought into submission to God’s will. Jesus said, “But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander” (Matthew 15:19). He also said that even looking upon someone with lust is as the sin of adultery (Matthew 5:28). If the sexual fantasy consists of actions or words that are not in line with God’s will for us, then it is sin.
We cannot always control the thoughts that shoot through our minds. We are exposed to sexual stimuli continually. Ephesians 6:16 offers some spiritual thought and guidance. When desires arise in our hearts, we have a choice about what we do with them. We can entertain them, allowing them to erupt into full-blown fantasies, or we can “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
As Christians, we have the power of the Holy Spirit working in our lives to enable us to squelch problematic thoughts that can lead to pain and dysfunction. But really, how does this work in practical ways? Do we really want to be rid of our pleasurable fantasies? Where do we erect boundaries in our lives? Can fantasies become perverted and what are the consequences that may arise? Ok, your turn! What do you have to say?