Is viewing some pornography really such a “big deal” if you and your spouse or significant other are looking for some excitement in your relationship? Why are people in the United States such prudes?
With the prevalence of the internet and the lowering of society’s moral standards, pornography is becoming an ever-present reality for many people. Even Christian couples sometimes wonder if pornography can have a redeeming factor if it is viewed with a spouse as part of their private relationship. Some couples feel the need to make their sexual relationship more exciting and believe that watching pornography together increases their enjoyment of their own sexual relationship. Pornography appeals to the lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh.
Some folks believe that viewing pornography is a sin for many reasons, even when viewed with one’s spouse. God designed this intimacy for a husband and wife only
Another negative aspect of watching pornography with a spouse is that to do so invites strangers into your bedroom. It creates a virtual threesome; while you may never think of participating in a ménage à trois in the flesh, you are doing so in your minds. Watching pornography with your spouse is a form of virtual adultery.
The third and most obvious reason that watching pornography is always wrong, whether with a spouse or alone, is that the motivation to do so is lust (Colossians 3:5; Matthew 5:28). Lust is an overwhelming desire for something God has forbidden (Proverbs 6:25). If seeing the nakedness of other people is required to desire sex with one’s spouse, then that is lust. Watching pornography is giving Satan permission to infiltrate our thinking, damage our hearts, and call “dirty” what God calls “very good” (Genesis 1:26–31). What do you think about this statement?
God’s parameters for sex are for our safety and well-being. The desire to watch pornography is a clear sign that priorities have gone awry. Sexual excitement has become more important than spiritual intimacy.
Christ would never ask someone to enjoy and participate in porn! Love “does not rejoice in sin and wrong-doing” (1 Corinthians 13:6). There are healthier ways in which to reconnect with a spouse than to invite sin into the relationship. Watching pornography alone or with a spouse, is destructive to mind and soul.
First Thessalonians 4:3–7 is as relevant today as it was when it was written, and we can apply its truth to the concept of watching pornography with a spouse: “It is God’s will that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of someone else!