WHY CAN’T PEOPLE JUST GET ALONG?

TEN REASONS WHY PEOPLE AT YOUR CHURCH, IN YOUR HOME, AT YOUR WORKPLACE AND IN GOVERNMENT CANNOT GET ALONG!

1. Sin is a BIG problem! The single greatest destroyer of relationships (of any kind), peace, unity, and harmony is sin. At the core of sin is selfishness, and when we’re always looking after ourselves at the expense of others, we’ll fail in our relationships.

2. Some folks struggle with Temperament weaknesses. Temperament is that God-created, in-born part of us that determines how we respond to people, places, and things. When we allow ourselves to function from our temperament weakness rather than from our temperament strengths, we can quickly become the kind of person who doesn’t get along with other people. For example, the strength of the Choleric temperament is strong leadership ability; the weakness is a penchant for being controlling, domineering, and manipulative. No one likes that kind of person!

3. Faulty thinking can interfere with what we believe, what we think and how we communicate with others. Irrational self-talk negatively skews our understanding of others and issues, and hampers our interactions with them. Patterns of cognitive distortions can become habitual, and lead us to think, assess, and respond in ways detrimental to any kind of relationship. For example. the cognitive distortion of magnification and minimization can become a habit of always magnifying errors and minimizing successes – either yours or those of others. This can make you the kind of person who doesn’t get along with others.

4. Mental illness is NO joke! When a person suffers from a mental illness, it can be difficult to apply ourselves to interacting with others in a consistently positive manner. For example, a person experiencing clinical depression may want to have positive, close friendships, but may struggle with the energy to do what it takes to consistently be that kind of friend. And other people may (often will) be lacking in understanding of your mental illness; ignorance by others about mental illness often results in the stigmatizing and shunning of the person with the mental illness.

5. Lack of discipline gets in the way big time when it comes to appropriately communicating with others. Usually the person who doesn’t get along with others can do better at relationships than they do, they just don’t try because they’re either unwilling or too lazy to exercise the appropriate level of self-discipline required for relational success.

6. Your Bad habits will destroy you. Some people think that everyone should like them “warts and all” and do nothing to edit themselves, so they bring all of their bad habits into their relationships. Whether it’s chronically being late to work, not being reliable, cursing in workplace settings, or being insensitive to the needs of others, these and other habits are called “bad” for a reason – no one will like you if you persist with them!

7. Poor communication skills will sabotage the best of your good intentions. Not being a good listener, and lacking the skill to communicate with someone else effectively is one of the leading problems in our interactions with others. Sometimes we’re poor communicators because of poor effort, or not caring, but often it’s because of lack of skill development in effective communications. Some good news is that anyone can learn core communication skills to help them relate effectively with other people.

8. Are you Inflexible? Insisting not only that things go how they want them to, but that others BE like who they want them to be, is an inflexible attitude that will quickly result in not getting along with others.

9. Do you refuse to accept differences in other people? Some people are sinful enough to be unwilling to positively engage with people who are different from them. There’s no chance in getting along with others with this attitude because no chance is allowed for.

10. Sometimes people just don’t care about others. Occasionally, you’ll meet someone who doesn’t get along with others because they only care about themselves, they do not care about others.

CONTACT RUSS HOBBS MINISTRIES TODAY TO SCHEDULE A DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC AT YOUR CHURCH OR ORGANIZATION! E-MAIL RUSS AT rhobbs@dejazzd.com

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